Is There a Downside to Being "Settled"?
The Torah portion Vayeshev poses a deep spiritual question for us to explore. In the journey toward elevating our souls, is there ever a point in life where we should want to be 'settled'? What could possibly be wrong with that? Isn’t that what we’re seeking? A life absent of worry and challenges?
The portion opens up with this first line: Now Jacob was settled in the land where his father had sojourned, the land of Canaan. The Hebrew word for settled is where we get the name of the parsha - Vayeshev / וַיֵּשֶׁב. But commentary1 on this verse suggests a deeper meaning. It says that perhaps Jacob wished to live ‘at ease’ (the word used is shalva, related to vayeshev) but is that ever realistic? If in fact, the righteous build up good actions in their lifetime to benefit them in the world to come, do they actually expect to reap those rewards here by having a life without challenges?
Would life have meaning for us if we were to live in a perpetual state of being ‘settled’ with where we are intellectually, emotionally, economically, physically or spiritually? In our naivete, that’s what we often hope for, a life without problems, pressure, or difficulty. Our image of a carefree life, relaxing on a beach, having not a care in the world, sipping margaritas all day and clicking the ‘repeat’ button is the cultural goal that pulls us.
But it pulls us down—-literally, several rungs from true spiritual attainment.
Judaism’s message is not that we are to avoid pleasure. Clearly, we are to enjoy life, to celebrate it, and to appreciate every moment. But that is not the ultimate goal of our lives.
Rabbi Israel Salanter (1809-1883), founder of the Mussar movement said: As long as one lives a life of calmness and tranquility in the service of God, it is clear that he/she is remote from true service.
Of course, you’d have to first buy into the underlying belief of his, that you are here for a unique and specific purpose, given to no other being on earth at this time, and that part of your mission is to serve the higher goal of Good.
So, in this sense, Judaism defines a life of calm as antithetical to our desire to grow spiritually. But what about the spiritual goal to attain a sense of wholeness / shleymut an outcome of having ‘menuchat hanefesh’ (literally calmness of the soul), equanimity? Isn’t that like being settled?
In Or HaChaim2, there is speculation that because Jacob wanted a life free of challenges, he is specifically challenged regarding the one whom he loves dearly, his son Joseph. This is viewed not as a punishment, but a natural consequence of his desire to seek respite from all his previous trials (dealings with his brother Esau, wrestling with the Divine being, Laban, death of Rachel, rape of Dinah).
If the Torah wants to teach us a life lesson from this, perhaps it’s that no one should seek immunity from life’s tests, even the greatest among us. The hope is that we grow through what life puts in front of us, elevating ourselves and growing closer to the Divine in the process. But the higher we are able to go, the more we are asked to continue.
Rabbi Kook writes that menuchat hanefesh is not found in the absence of challenges but in the ability to rise above them. It is the inner serenity that comes from aligning one's actions with one's truest values.
Our sense of being settled, of ‘settling’—-with values that are misplaced, with actions that are not moral or just, should never be the goal. Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz (1937-2020) writes3 that
The Jewish approach to life considers the man who has stopped going -- he who has a feeling of completion, of peace, of a great light from above that has brought him to rest -- to be someone who has lost his way.
We should not be sleep-walking through our lives. That is not the spiritual path our soul craves.
May we have the strength to deal with life’s challenges, to master our instinctive inclination to retreat from them, and instead elevate ourselves to our higher purpose.
Genesis Rabbah, 84:3
Or HaChaim is an 18th century commentary on the Torah that contains mystical references.
Steinsaltz, The Thirteen Petalled Rose